If You Put Your Cold Hand There... I'm Gonna....

I placed my cold hand on Ali's belly Sunday morning and I felt a kick. It was amazing! We had our 16 week appt last Friday and heard the heartbeat with a Doppler. The midwife said "he" is very active(150) and was kicking all around, obviously does not like anything cold. Our friend C gave us a medical Doppler to use and we have played with it non stop. This is really real!!!! and I have had some moments of freak out! Wheewww like just now. Ok, it's gonna be ok...right?

Baby Got Bump

We have been bad belly photographers. Ali is 16 weeks today and I think she is finally starting to show...how exciting!

To Snoogle...Or Not To Snoogle?

That's this weeks question. Ali is having trouble getting comfortable at night. I already seem to think we need to invest in a king size bed...since we have introduced more pillows. So if you have a snoogle..let us know what you think or any other comfortable device you might recommend.

Our first purchase over $10

Thank you everyone for your advice... it made me feel less 'behind'. I found the checklist online... love that... and we had actually already done everything we were 'supposed to' by now, except for three things. A friend told us about this jogger stroller she saw at a local consignment shop so we went by to check it out. It's in great shape and was only $50... so we bought it. Very exciting!!

La started on the nursery mural tonight...looking good :-)...we will post when it is finished

What to do when?

I am feeling like I have no idea what to do first and when for planning for our baby's arrival. It feels like planning a wedding but without that book that says 8 months before you do this, 6 months before you do that, 5 months before... and so forth. Is there a book like that for this? When do we sign up for birth classes? I don't even know where they are! What books must I be reading? When do we register? Which car seat do we choose? Wash the baby clothes? What all needs to be done? What am I missing? I am feeling clueless today, not knowing where to start.

Birth Place

In the comments on the last post, Mimi asked if we were going to deliver at my hospital.

I have toyed with the idea of home birth. In fact, my colleagues hear me say quite often 'you k-n-o-w the hospital is no place to have a baby'... half joking, but half not. But getting La to agree to that is a battle I am not up for and I think both people really have to be on board for a good home birth, fear is a powerful thing and the energy needs to be right. So the next best place for us is my 'work home'. And while we tend to be very possessive of each other in the sense we all want to take care of each other, we are also very respectful, so it will work out fine to have all my work peeps within walking distance. I work with some really good people. You know that expression this person 'is good people'... that is the majority of my co-workers. We say all the time... we stay here mostly because we genuinely like each other and like spending our days together.
So, my goal is to labor at home as long as possible and then go up there for the birth. Our doula is a midwife I used to work with, but retired last winter for a life with more sleep and to pursue her massage therapy career. I am so happy she agreed to help us. She has an amazing spirit and her presence will make me feel safe, encouraged and cared for.

Hatched By 2 Chicks

Ali is 14 weeks today...yipppeeee... We spent our weekend at gay pride. It was so much fun to see old friends and ones that have had a baby. Ali wore a maternity shirt...not that she's showing much, but it seems to be comfortable...and we're all about comfort. After pride we stopped by C & A's house to pick up a gift her and her mom bought for us...it is so damn cute....I took a pic to show it off and that's what our baby will wear to gay pride next year.

In baby news...We are trying to figure out if we will do the testing for Downs and spina bifida? I hear there are a lot of false positives? I guess we both feel like if it's not going to change our minds, why take the test? Ali also plans on a natural child birth...you go girl...(I am woman..hear me roar)...so that brings up our hiring a Douala. I think it is totally a great idea. I am such a fix it kinda person, so I see this as someone really helping her do this! I think I may need the epidural or some kind of meds. I am still in ahhhh...I just love this baby!

Read All About It **updated**

Ali was at work yesterday when her and her co-worker S decided to do an us scan. This is Ali's way of telling her co-workers who don't know yet. They placed our cutie patootie(one that doesn't look like a puppy dog running up the hill...refer to 1st us scan) up at work today on a sign in the most "used" bathroom for "employees only". They used one of the us pics and the sign that read "Can you guess who my mommy is?" So far no one has guessed Ali...hee hee. I would love to be a fly on the wall..... Her one co-worker V...came out of the bathroom and said; wait a minute...who the hell is this...you have to know V, she is a true redneck! I love it!

**update**

The plot thickens... what is the most natural next step for a bunch of L&D nurses to do with a guessing game? Yep, you guessed it... turn it into a gambling ring on Fac*e*book. They have about $70 in the pot so far. Ha... loving it!

Friday Night's

Ali and I went over to a friends house to tell her our news and visit with her and her son J. He was born Oct 2008. He is 5mo's old and is the cutest, hefty fella. I got to see what it feels like(for a couple hours) to be a parent. I fed him and bathed him and Ali put him to sleep. It was so nice to visit with her and her husband. We only planned on staying for a little bit, but I think C really enjoyed the company and help.

We left C and A's and decided to go by Bo*ders and pick out a baby name book. There are many! We have a short list of names we like. It's hard to name someone else! We also browsed through parenting magazines and have wanted to purchase a co-sleeper. Anyone have one and can give us some advice?

Start Your Engines....Heartbeat 160

So today was our 12 week check-up. We didn't get to see our favorite midwife, she is sick. Ali was bummed, but all went well. C put the Doppler to her belly....and there it was swooosh....swoosh....swoosh... a whopping 160. Hallelujah! I of course cried....and busted out we did it! Ali lost 3 pounds...is still sick, but thinks it's getting better, still looks like Casper the ghost, but had a little pink ..thanks to the pimple coming up by her nose :) Ahhhh those hormones!

Our next appt is April 24th... And we're not finding out the sex.....Ohhhh the excitement of it all!!!!

Prayers For Grandpa

Ali's dad has not been feeling well for a long time and thought he might of had a stroke. The MRI results are back, seems to have a mass in his facial region(sinus cavity or between his ear). They're not quite sure exactly where? CT scan scheduled for next week. A hard part to this will be her travels to S. Florida this weekend to visit. Her family is very accepting of me, especially her dad, mom not so much with our relationship, but figures I've been here for 10 years...not going anywhere. Don't get me wrong she shows me affection, but we just don't talk about us. We don't change things when she comes to visit, and she has peeked into the nursery. She has asked Ali's sister, "Is your sister planning on having a baby"? K just dodged that question. So here's the tricker. Ali has gotten sick just about everyday and is extremely tired, so being at her parents this weekend shouldn't be any different? Her curious george mom will probably suspect "something", but Ali is not in a place to tell her yet. So rewind 10 years when Ali came out to her mom, well, that was a disaster....her mom is a devout Baptist and was crushed(I'm going litely by that phrase) , hence our reason for not telling her quite yet. I just don't want any added stress for her right now...we are finally 11 weeks and counting up to get over the hurdle. So, please pray for Ali's dad and for her that this trip will be uneventful...for now.


***UPDATE****
CT results came back today. Dr said it doesn't look good(what does that mean?) And needs to see ENT ASAP...well to them that's tomorrow(Wed)

What's new on the homefront

Well, we hit 10 weeks. Ali is still sick and very tired and her boobs, well, let's just say their ATOMIC! I told her recently that the pregnancy aliens came and took my wife away. She is so quiet and just doesn't seem to be herself lately. I miss her a lot! Her quietness I guess is attributed to the excess saliva and just feeling so nauseous. I guess this will get better? Our next Drs appt is on the 26th...prayers that we continue to hear a heartbeat and watch a healthy baby grow.

To all those on the TCC and TWW train...we pray and think of you often.

Oh, and she proceeds to tell me about this dream she had the other night....she dreamed the baby was born a girl with boy parts.....what's the signifigance of that dream? Who knows...I just laughed.

Ohhhhhh...9 weeks!

We are 9 weeks today. I finally took a belly shot of Ali's weeee little bump. This is a scarey week for us.. This is the week when our last baby stopped growing. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

We just LOVE this BABY!!!!!!!!!!

~La

Good Night...Sleep Tight..Work In Progress

This was our accomplishment this weekend. Ali's sister was kind enough to give us this crib set that her boys rarely slept in. She has been saving it for 12 years now and it's in great condition! Thanks Aunt K! There's more to do, but just wanted to get a head start...it feels good. More pictures to follow one day :)

When Does It End

I'm not complaining , I just feel bad for my honey. I'm a fix-it kinda person. She has thrown up everyday for the past 10 or so days and some more than once. I do say thank you God because this is a good sign...right? I tell her if she would tell people at work, then she could at least wear her sea bands. She's scared tho. I just want her to feel better.

Oh Happy Day

We had our first MW appt today and everything looks great! Right size uterus, rights size cervix, right size baby! AND we got to see our little friend and hear his/her heartbeat at 143bpm. Yeah!! We both cried. It was wonderful! I had my prenatal labs drawn, received a gift bag from the office with a book and some other pregnancy info and my official EDC of October 6, 2009. My MW told me to start taking Vit b-6 for the nausea, so we stopped by and picked some up today.

Oh... I love my baby!! :-) Here is the u/s pic and I will update this evening with a belly pic when La gets home. She is at a purse/jewelry party with some friends- ha! I had no desire to go to that. The jewelry wouldn't be bad, but all those knock off's- not for me. I am a V.er.a B.radle.y girl myself. Not excessively, I get one new one a year for my birthday and that sustains me.

Here's our baby :-)))

Monday's Thoughts

We have finished our 7th week. I still can't believe it sometimes. Our first MW appt is on Thursday. I am getting excited. I want to see our little peanut's heartbeat. We have been talking about when to tell people this time. A few of our closest friends know now but we haven't decided when we want to tell our co-workers and church family and others. Last time we decided we were going to wait until 12weeks and then we miscarried at 11wks. That worked well in the sense that I really prefer to grieve privately, but it was really hard to pretend everything was fine, especially when I was at work. I have a tendency to wear all my feelings on my face, so while several people could see the ache in my face they didn't know why. So this time I have this feeling that telling earlier, say at 8 or 10 weeks, will be ok because this baby will be fine, but I am also afraid to give in to that idea.

On the left is how our baby's hand looked yesterday and on the right, how it will look in two days. That is amazing!

On a very sweet Valentine note...La was soooo sweet Saturday. I had to work and she surprised me and showed up with 20 little cupcakes- from the best cupcake place in town- for me and my co-workers and brought us lunch- in a picnic basket no less- from our favorite little Italian deli. Tuscan chicken sandwiches and orange balls, which are these little rice balls filled with meat and sauce and then the whole ball is lightly breaded and baked. They are soooo good! It was the best valentine's day to have to spend at work. I love you, baby!

My belly symptoms still rotate between nausea, hunger and indigestion- all. the. time. This morning I woke up twice between 4 and 7 and my stomach felt normal and it felt so good. I just wanted to savour it because as soon as I take 20 steps in the morning it all starts again. I am sipping peppermint tea which I was told would help. I was thinking maybe we should start our belly pics this week. :-)

Dare to Dream and Believe

To my Dear Ali,

It's hard to imagine that 3 years ago we began this journey to motherhood. The emotions, the adrenaline, the sadness and tears. We stood together, not always strong, but bound and determined to fill a dream. We never gave up, though we wondered what was the plan. Our emotions as we celebrate this new beginning are scary and joyful. A reminder message" A touch of courage, a grain of hope, a bit of wisdom, a lot of patience. Good things come to those who wait."
I write this a day early, but wanted to wish you a very HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Thank you for having the courage and strength to journey on. May this year be everything you ever dreamed for. It has been for me!
All my love always, La.
We're having a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling...

Tired, Nauseous, Hungry...Indigestion...Growing Tender Breasts...Pregnant...

:-)

I'll add to that

I need some reassurance. I don't feel a thing except some tender breast and some yawning in the afternoon. I am remembering a few of your blogs that said similar things but I can't remember who to go back and read and feel reassured. A couple people at work as well as my OB said they did not feel a thing and were not sick ever. Now I know it is early... it still can come...I hope to be praying for nausea relief in a couple weeks at least then I will 'feel pregnant'. I keep trying not to think about it because when I do it really freaks me out!



Oh and thanks from me too for all the very sweet posts!

Can Someone Pinch Me

Sorry for the silence. We have been in ahhh over our great news and probably a little nervous too. Ali is taking the bullets, which seem to freak her out, since a common side effect is leakage(sorry TMI) so of course she worries when that's happening it can only mean "aunt flow". She is very, very tired and no morning sickness.I told her I prayed for her to have an uneventful pregnancy. We are 5wks today. Our first appt is Feb. 19th...yeah! Thank you for all your wonderful comments.

Fix it and forget it...

Remember the infomercial for the rotisserie that you stick the meat in and leave it alone until it is done several hours later and the slogan was 'Fix it and Forget it'. That is what we did before we left. We stuck the sperm in and forgot about it (well for the most part). It was our Hail Mary pass before staring the IVF journey. We are home now... still on cloud nine from the trip of a lifetime that we will not only never forget but are trying to keep that feeling and memory as close and alive as we possibly can. I am supposed to start my period tomorrow or Tuesday. I peed on a stick this morning for kicks, one more time and this is what I saw

I swung open the bathroom door and stared at La. She said what is it? I was just frozen holding this stick and she popped up and said' It's positive, isn't it'. The line looked a little light and I didn't want to get my hopes up. After church we went and picked up this test and sure enough- WE ARE PREGNANT!

No fertility clinic, no drugs, just us on our way out the door to work on a Monday morning. I still can't believe it!! It doesn't seem real yet. OMG- we are having a baby. Praying this one sticks and thinking about what we will name our Obama baby- Barrack, Michelle, Obama, Sasha, Malia, something with the initials D.C. - maybe David Charles or Dafne Clare. Ooh! I am so excited!! Thank you, God! Thank you, God!

An amazing day!

Yesterday was an amazing day for us. We started out with a church service at S.hiloh Baptist Church. Shiloh was founded amidst the turmoil of the Civil War in 1863 by 21 former slaves. From that beginning, Shiloh has become one of the most regarded religious institutions in Washington. Besides the INCREDIBLE music supported by the joint choirs (107 members) for this special inauguration service , we had the honor of listening to J.on Lewis, Congressmen from Georgia preach. The Honorable J.on Lewis is often called "one of the most courageous persons the Civil Rights Movement ever produced" and to meet him and listen to him tell the stories of he and MLK walking and marching and speaking together brought tears to our eyes and filled our spirits with the enormity of what electing Barrack means to all those who have 'got in the way' for justice and equality for all people. He told us about when he had been beaten by police, left for dead, jailed for walking, talking, refusing to go away.

In 1961, J.on Lewis joined the Freedom Riders and is the last remaining of the group that worked closely with MLK and stood with him during his 'I have a Dream' speech. Hearing him preach, singing with the Shiloh congregation and witnessing the pride and excitement in his and others eyes and voice that morning is something I will never, ever forget. After the church service, which lasted two and a half hours and I never looked at my watch, we headed over to the Lincoln Memorial for the concert. Wow!!! the energy, the people the excitement... I cannot even put it in words. The cabbies who have been here for a few inaugurations keep telling us they have never seen anything like this.. "the people are so happy" and they really are. Everyone is 'hi', 'how are you', 'where are you from', 'oh, I'm sorry'(when they bump into you). It really gves me more hope to be with all these people... that we will get there... to a place where we take care of the least among us and are all equal.

Ok, finishing the day. Of course we could not even get close to the Lincoln Memorial but there are huge screens placed all down the Mall, so you can see it. If you watched the concert last night, the camera's panned from Lincoln to the Wash. Monument, but not beyond that. Well, all those people that you saw in that area was duplicated on the back side of the monument all the way to the Capitol. It was so cool, remember these are all happy people, so even though it is a large crowd, it's all good. After the concert we tooled around the memorials- WWII and Vietnam and then walked over to the White House.

Exhausted from the day, we skipped the new swanky nightclub for the L Word premiere and opted to watch it back where we are staying... in our PJ's. It was a most amazing day!!

Come Fly Away With Me

We are leaving for DC tomorrow. We are getting excited, and I'm a little nervous too. Big crowds....eeehhhh, I'll get through it. We have a lot to see on our 10 day venture. Praying for good weather, well, at least sunshine.
Hoping too, the altitude sucks a fertilized egg to the uterine wall!!!!!! :)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

We are getting ready to leave next week for DC. We will be gone for 10 days...yeah! However, we're not use to freezing weather and snow. How does one prepare? Hat..ck...gloves...ck..jacket...ck am I missing anything? I really don't even know how cold it will be. So, those of you who live in the North, help a sister out.

In baby news.....we are inseminating before we leave, on our own, and hoping the relaxing trip will work it's magic. If we do not get our +++++++ we have decided to take the plunge and do IVF. What's another $11,000. OHHH, I need a drink!!!!