Singing Fun

10 months pictures

Thanks Tanashia for the help. Here they are!

This dress is 49 years old. Both me and my sister have our pictures taken in it

11month update and 10 mo pictures

We are still here... It has been so long since we posted! So much has happened. We have finished all our first holidays- july4th, labor day. We've had our first plane ride to KY for La's parents 50th wedding anniversary and spent a week introducing HC to al her aunts and cousins on that side. She is getting so big and will be ONE in TWO WEEKS! That is just crazy!! Crawling fast and standing with no hands. No walking yet. Jibber jabbering. Says Hi! in a really high pitched voice and waves. Is still skeptical of new faces and then laughs and plays when she warms up to you. Has said turtle a couple times, ah dun (all done), du (duck), daw (dog) and da- to describe most everything else, practices ta and pa at night and in the morning. new favorite food is asparagus. loves cheese and blueberries, most fruit and veggies. Does not like egg yolks-hard boiled. (most of all that was for me to remember, until I can get it written in her book) We are planning a duck party theme for the big first birthday bash. I still just cannot believe it! 10 month old pictures below.

Pictures won't upload.. argh!

(OK, our main computer has been down for a couple months and we are working off this laptop and I am having trouble getting pictures in here. There has to be an easier way to upload to blogger. I have them in a pi.casa album but when I click blog this. it puts them in one at a time. Anyone know how to select multiple pictures in pi.casa to blog. I tried holding down the ctrl key but that just opens each one up in a different window. Should I switch to photo.bucket? Is that easier to navigate?)

I brought her ice water

Her baby had just died and I brought her ice water. It felt strange to even ask her if she wanted it. She had been up at least half the night, came to us in labor -8cm just over three hours ago, just pushed her baby out, now crying as she lied on her back, lifting her head to see over the stirrups. Trying to see her newborn baby, that now we know she would never see alive. Fifteen minutes and twenty one seconds later the ARNP running the code brings him over to her, ET tube still taped to his face, hands him to her and says I am sorry, there is nothing else we can do. She starts sobbing, the dad is sobbing then vomiting, the grandmother looks stunned. I am stunned, I look over at the NICU team, they have glassy eyes and are looking back at me stunned. I am thinking-are you kidding me. What do you mean you can't do anything. We can always do something. Not this time. She says- we never got a heartbeat. The mom doesn't understand. None of us do, really. The team leaves. She is holding her lifeless baby, beautiful, lots of brown hair, eyes shaped like his mommy. He is early- 31weeks, but on the bigger side. She asks me to weigh him. He weighs 4lbs 2oz. His tiny hands are perfect. As I touch them I am reminded of my own sweet baby's hands and my heart breaks for her. She is 19yo and this is her first baby. She tells me she doesn't want this, she doesn't want to leave him here. I say through my own tears- I know you don't. She says- what happened? dad says- was it the epidural? The ARNP says no. The mom lays him on the bed between her legs and opens his blanket again, I can see her looking at his chest as if to make sure he is not breathing. She touches him so lovingly. I am reminded again of my own baby and my heart breaks for her. There is nothing I can do or say to fix this. I try to imagine what I would want or need. I only have the memory of my own loss-- which pales in comparison to what I can imagine this feels like-- and I wanted only answers, nothing else.. To be left alone. To curl up under the covers and come out and it all to be a dream. I can remember that next morning so vividly. Waking up and as soon as my eyes opened, remembering and wanting to go back to sleep and stay asleep until my baby was alive again . An ache so strong in my heart that it nauseated me. But I ask her anyways. Would you like something to drink? She says sure, some water. So I leave and come back with three cups of ice water. That's it. I thought your baby is dead and I am bringing ice water. What a nightmare. La calls me a little later to say good morning. I ask her to please give HC kisses for me until I can get home.

7, then 8 months

So, wow, we flew through the last month and now my sweet girl is 8 months old. The days and weeks go by so fast. I keep feeling like I want to write everything down but then don't want to leave the moment to do it, but I desperately want to remember everything. I concentrate really hard in those really sweet moments to try to make an imprint in my mind so I will remember later. But I already feel myself forgetting and it makes me sad. We sat the other night and watched video from 8 days to about 6 weeks and I can't believe how little she was. Ahh, sweet newborns. But now we have a big 8 month old who has started to voice her preferences and we can see her personality emerging. I love it! No crawling yet, but lots of looking like she could any day. She rocks up to her hands and then back to her bum. No teeth either. That really is ok with me, I am in no hurry for those. Eating lots of yummy fresh fruits and veggies. HC's favorites are blueberries, peaches, prunes and her cereal. Her veggies she pretty much prefers them coated with the fruit. Probably not a good idea on my part, but I love seeing her enjoy her food, so I do it. Whatever, I may be sorry later. Water, water, water. Loves to swim and bathe. She gets all excited and rocks like she will jump out of my arms to get in. And she loves a rubber ducky!! Babbles babbles. Tonight she had a conversation with her friend Blake. It was sooo cute. Back and forth they said dadadadadadadada and then some raspberries in between. So cute. Dogs and cats. Loves those. She gets so excited to see them and more so to pet them or be licked by them. Stats: at her 7 month visit she weighed 17.10lbs and was 25.5 inches. I think they were wrong. She seems heavier and longer to me but I haven't re measured her. I will. Last night we finished putting together her new red wagon and she LOVES it. We rode around the block at 10pm last night and she sat up in it big as day, smiling. She should have been in bed at 10pm but I am not so good at that whole schedule thing. I am working on it and luckily she rolls with teh flow for the most part. Laughing. I love her laugh. It melts my heart and makes it feel twice as big at the same time. So much joy!! We went to the zoo over Memorial Day. It was great! Favorite moment was feeding the giraffe. I think it was the only animal HC really saw because we were so close. And pics and video....

My Greatest Joy

I posted this a while back and then while editing couldn't get b.log.ger to put it back up. I am so glad we had someone there to take pictures and video. We had so many it was hard to trim down. The photos in the tub at the hospital tub look like all the lights were on because of the bright flash but it was really dark and serene. The best moments of my life captured forever.
(click on pic to the right to start)

6 months

La just said, tomorrow she will be 7 months. I was like 'what?'. And she is right. So fast this all goes.

At 6 months HC:

~Started some solids: has had banana, avocado, rice cereal, zucchini, sweet potatoes, green peas and apple in the last three and a half weeks. I must admit, I have not been so good at sticking to each one for 3 days, a couple were only maybe twice and then I moved on and went back to it. She acts like she wants to eat things like crackers and bread and things she can hold, but I have been leery to give her anything like that. A friend suggested the mesh bag for fruit but I haven't tried it yet. I was thinking about those organic puffs in the baby section, but the box says they should be crawling before they have those. So we'll see.

~still loves to nurse and comfort nurse 2-3times a night (at least)

~says mama and da and ya. Mama , I think refers to wanting to nurse more than me as a person. She really says it anytime she is upset.

~blows raspberries and spits with her tongue between her lips. It is soooo cute!

~lights up when she sees La

~loves for us to sing songs. Favorites are Three Little Bla.ckbirds, Skidamerinkydinkydink, and T.winkle Tw.inkle

~likes to swing at the park

~sits up fairly well

~continues to drool and acts like she might be teething with her chewing gums motion but still nothing... which is fine with me

~holds her hands together up over her head in a circle and smiles. We sing 'underneath the moon'

~giggles when she is tickled or when we kiss her neck

~smiles from ear to ear and makes big chipmunk cheeks

~checks people out... intensely. If she doesn't know you, she typically gazes at you for several minutes before she will smile

The Birth Story

Finally the whole story. I had been adding to my journal bits and bits about my birth over the first couple months after HC was born. Afraid to do it again here and lose it all. So finally I sit down and write out the whole thing. The best day of our lives. Long labor... long story...


Friday, October 9th

As La said we went to see the midwife and I had been having prodromal contractions for a couple days. I was 3cm and we decided to strip my membranes. I was 40 weeks 3 days. We went to an early dinner with a couple friends. I wanted pizza. We had my favorite meal- pizza, Greek salad and garlic rolls. Lots of garlic!! I started contracting more toward the end of the meal and thought we should walk. It was so hot outside. Like the kind of humid heat that takes your breath away and causes you to sweat immediately. So we decided to go to the mall. I have not been to the mall in I don't know how long. We walked for about an hour and my contractions were becoming stronger and closer together. As I stopped for them, I tried to look normal like I was just sight seeing over the railing, but some people could tell I was not sight seeing and commented. It was funny to La. We left the mall and went home. The contractions continued and were about 6-8 minutes apart. Our friend T who lives a mile away called to check on us and La gave her the update and she came over around 9 or 10pm. We were not sure when to call our doula. I didn't want to call her too early. Being a L&D nurse didn't help me know when the 'right time' for everything was. I used the ball, hands and knees, lying on the couch.. was just generally uncomfortable. When the contractions didn't let up we decided to go ahead and call S, our doula, and giver her a heads up and she came over about midnight. I continued in early labor and got in the shower and out of the shower and back in the shower. I didn't want to get in the tub too soon because I knew it could slow down labor. I felt all of my contractions in my hips and needed someone to squeeze them together with each contraction.

Saturday, October 10th

At 3am Suzee checked my cervix and I was still 3cm and very posterior and the head sutures still felt transverse, the same as Rachel had felt them earlier that day. At this point I was in tears. I kept thinking these are 3cm contractions and they hurt. I don't know if I will be able to do this. I was crying and La was so sweet. She was awesome the WHOLE time! This was favorite memory #1. I got up the courage to ask her if she thought I could do this and her answer was a pivotal moment in my labor. She said without pause- 'yes! absolutely!' I never questioned again whether I could (well except for another favorite moment during transition). So I took a deep breath and the determination bank had been refilled. I was just going to ride the wave. Be present and patient. Meanwhile, Terrie and Suzee asked me if I wanted them to call Rachel (the midwife). I said, 'there is nothing she can do, I hate to wake her'. Knowing I didn't want any intervention. They called her anyways and she suggested I take a P*ercocet and Phen*ergan and try to get some 'therapeutic rest'. Suzee relayed the suggestion from Rachel and I accepted. I was able to sleep from 3:30 am - 6:00 am, waking for the contractions and falling back to sleep in between and it felt so good. Around 6am the contractions felt closer and stronger and at 6:30am I had to get up. I couldn't sleep in between anymore. I got in the shower. La, who I think was grateful for her couple hours of sleep, woke up Suzee, who had also fallen asleep on the couch and she came in to see me. I told her I didn't think I could keep standing and I wanted to get in the tub. La came in and sat with me. Suzee brought me a banana and water for breakfast. La called Susan, her doula, to come and Terrie, whose official role was photographer, had left about 4 am and would return later. La called the midwife and she got here about 10:30am. In the meantime, favorite memory #2, La got in the tub with me. It was wonderful. She was so awesome. I would lean on her in between, she would hold me in her arms and then I would pop up on hands and knees during a contractions and she would squeeze my hips. When Rachel got here, she checked me and I was 6cm. Hallelujah! I got back in the tub and then out again and in and out. My water broke about 12:30pm. I was on the couch leaned over and noticed with each contraction I would pee a little... or so I thought. But we figured out it was my water. And it was light meconium. This is not uncommon for being 40 wks but at our hospital it means NICU is supposed to come and it changes the moments right after birth. Since it was so light, what we could see of it, I expressed my concern to Rachel and she assured me it didn't have to change our plan. She checked me and I was 7cm. She asked me when I wanted to go to the hospital. I really didn't ever want to go, but knew that was the plan. So I said, I want to stay here as long as I can. That was probably what kept me the same for so long. I was afraid of being completely dilated at home and then having the chaos of getting to the hospital and feeling pushy and all that. What I wanted more than anything was a calm, gentle birth. I got back in the tub some more and got out and walked around and laid down and Rachel wanted me to walk so we were just about to go outside and walk the neighborhood when it started to pour down rain. So we stood on the porch a while and then walked circles in the house. I squatted and leaned and moaned and just moved around as I pleased. At 4pm I was still 7cm and my cervix was thicker than before and Rachel thought we should go to the hospital and get some fluids. I had been drinking lots but I figured it was a pretty benign suggestion. So I said ok. Immediately the thought of going to the hospital startled me and spaced out my contractions. I know the hospital brings all sorts of intervention possibilities. I was afraid. I didn't know if I should talk about my fear, whether it would release it or give it voice. I decided to say something. I had gone to the bathroom and Rachel followed me in there and was helping me get dressed. And I said I am afraid. Afraid of pushing. I was afraid of second stage what it would feel like even though I had witnessed women pushing out their babies hundreds of times and I had been afraid of getting to that point at home and rushing to the hospital as I said earlier. She gave me here standard answer when I tell her I am afraid of something. What is the worst that could happen? I named off a couple things none of which were that bad and I felt better having voiced it. Now I had to let it go. I spent the whole ride there repeating to myself-- I gotta get rid of the fear. I just need three more cm. We got to the hospital, took the back elevator up and slipped into the most far back room- 212. My dear friend Tanashia, who was going to be my nurse arrived the same time we did. Terrie started an IV and I got about 600cc of IV fluids. I asked to get back in the tub. I kept thinking- my cervix was thinner when I was in the tub, I must be more relaxed in there. Rachel agreed and said she would recheck me in an hour. I kept thinking relax and open, relax and open. I knew on the one hand what all they like to do with 'stalled labor'= internal pressure catheters to monitor contraction strength, that leads to p.itocin and the list goes on. I wanted no part of that and I also had to stop thinking about those possibilities. My job was to me a woman in labor and give birth. So I tried to focus on that. In an hour, I was 7.5 cm and my cervix was thinner. and it was enough for my midwife to let me continue in the tub or wherever, but leave me be. My contractions were still spaced. Tanashia came in the bathroom. She asked how I was doing. I explained I had been startled by coming here and that I thought the fear had spaced out my contractions and I was trying to relax and was going to do some nipple stim. Favorite memory #3. She agreed and understood and said that was normal. That coming to the hospital would do that. I felt relieved that she understood and agreed and that talking to her I didn't feel rushed for the first time since I had gotten to the hospital. La and I were alone for a little while, we did nipple stim and I focused on opening and relaxing. Slowly my contractions started to pick up. My labor team had iced cloths for my head and neck (which were awesome), held my hand, rubbed my back, encouraged me. I felt so supported. I just kept on. Slowly my cervix changed. At about 8-9 cm, I felt as if I could not catch my breath. Like waves were crashing over my head and I could not get my footing. Contractions were coming one after another. They kept saying how good I was doing and I kept saying No, no I am not, I am not, I need a break, I can't do this and another one would come and another. In came Suzee. Favorite moment #4. She talked me down. In her calm, quite voice with her hand on my head she said, you are so close, when you think you can't go on, you are almost there, you can do it, just breathe. And so I did. I got to 9.5cm and had a persistent lip of cervix. Rachel tried to move it over the baby's head, but it was so painful. The baby was moving down lower and I was feeling pressure at the top of the contractions. I would push down when I had the urge. I decided to feel for myself where her head was and what I felt was a fat lip of cervix. I then knew I had to take a deep breath and resolved that I would let Rachel move it and she did. Now I was really free to push. She was moving down lower and lower. They could hear some variables when I was pushing which is normal, but they wanted me to get out of the tub. At the time I loved it there so much, I had wanted to give birth there, but I was happy to do what the midwife asked and now I can see how moving helped. When I got out, my legs felt like spaghetti. It was about 10:30 pm and I had been in there since about 5pm. I squatted down when I got out with the next contraction and I could really feel her moving down now. I felt my labia opening and it was so cool and favorite memory #5. My legs did not want to move. I kept thinking. Don't be like those crazy patients that say they can't walk. Get up. But I really wanted to stay there and squat for a while- the progress felt so good. I got over to the bed on my right side. and pushed another hour and 15 or 30 minutes. I could see her coming in the mirror. And it was so intense, so much pressure and burning. I remember looking around the room and everyone there was saying how good I was doing and I was thinking this hurts so bad. I can't believe this!! I was slowly moving her, trying to get used to one degree of burning before going farther. I reached down to feel her head. Favorite moment #6. I could put pressure back on her head while pushing which helped me not to feel like I was splitting open. Finally her head emerged and when her head was born, it was the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. Favorite moment #7. All that pain was gone. In an instant. I kept saying it over and over. That was amazing. The most intense feeling ever! After her head came out it was all gone! next were her shoulders and I can still still hear Tanashia say 'licia, reach down and get your baby' and I did!

Saturday, October 11th

At 12:03am on October 11th, my sweet baby girl entered the world. Favorite moment #8. She was so warm and wet and felt so heavy. I had forgotten we didn't know what sex she was. I was not expecting that. I thought it would be my first thought. But I was just so elated by her presence. I kept saying- my baby, my baby. And La announced -It's a girl! and our friend Terrie shouted- no, it's not!! and we all stopped and looked. But what she meant was- no, freakin way! We all laughed. My very own baby girl, my baby to love forever and be with forever. I just kept saying over and over. my baby, my baby. Thank you God. She was so alert and cried right away. She bobbed her head up and down shortly after trying to find my breast. My dream of a natural delivery had come true. I did it! the biggest challenge of my life. The most amazing experience ever! It was worth every second. I felt a high for days and weeks and maybe still. I had pressed through and been present while my body did what it was created to do. I was not broken. I had worried that because it took so long to get pregnant that maybe I didn't work right. But I do. It was so empowering. For me it was the best start I could give us. I am so grateful. Thank you God.

posted by Ali

Three days before

Originally written by La on 10/25/09 at 11:14 am on HC's 2 week b-day.


Wow.......we are starting to adjust as a family. I will try and post the birth story to the best of how I thought it went....I'm sure Ali will update/change when she has some free time.

Wednesday October 7

It all kinda started on Wed oct 7th. Ali woke up that morning crampy and having bloody show. It didn't help that she had worked the day before and did some heavy leg holding with one of her patients for hours, not to mention having a chair slip from under her and falling to the ground. She was in major pain and discomfort from a pulled muscle. She sat on the couch crying in pain and trying figure out what was going on (even though she is an L&D nurse) I was at work when she called me and I could tell something was upsetting her. She went on to tell me how she was feeling and she started crying, this put me in panic mode, but I stayed calm while I was on the phone with her. I told her I would come home. She called me back 2min later and said she was ok, that I didn't need me to come home and she was getting a massage by our doula at 1:30 and would call me after that if I needed to come home. I didn't hear back from her and she seemed to be contracting when I got home, but was cutting her good friend's Jo's hair for her upcoming cancer survivor walk. Ali shaves a riboon in the back of her hair and colors her hair bright pink. All seemed to be ok.

Thursday October 8

I was off today and I mainly spent the day preparing for a baby arrival. Ali was still contracting but they seemed not to be coming as close as the day before. She was able to sleep for part of the day and nurture her aching back. I think we both felt a little reassured that we had our midwife appt on Fri and we could wait til then to see if she was progressing.


Friday October 9

I took the day off and we went to our midwife appt. The midwife checked Ali and said she was 3cm dialated. The midwife asked Ali if she wanted her to strip her membranes....which I answered immediately...yes. My thinking was this would get labor moving quicker. She listened to the baby's heartbeat and it was running around 180. The midwife said that's a little high so let's check again in a few minutes. The heartbeat would come down for just a minute and then went back up, so she sent us to triage to for NST. Ali was placed on the monitor in triage and pea pod looked great. Baseline 150 fht. We stayed for about an hour and discharged home. We decided to go have dinner with friends and go walk the mall. Ali was pretty uncomfortable and we got many onlookers who would just stop and say....she's gonna have that baby. We did a few laps around the mall and headed home.

To be continued.....

Just not sure

So I need a little advice or perspective on how to handle this situation. Twice now on two separate occasions, two different people have greeted us and kissed HC on the mouth. I am not down with that. I just don't like it. I don't kiss other people's children on the lips and I don't want other people kissing HC on the lips. But I really am not sure what to say. I don't want to hurt their feelings. Especially one person, she is a close friend and I just know I'll come off bitchy and I don't want them to take it personal. The first time it happened I was totally shocked! This was a church friend, she hugged me first and before I could turn had smacked one on HC.. on the mouth!. I froze. And HC was taken back by the whole- your in my space too quickly thing- and gave her the look of crazy brows and then started crying. Then tonight it happened again as we were leaving a restaurant saying goodbye and another friend, close friend, leaned in and kiss, kiss, kiss HC on the mouth...three times! Again shocked, I pulled her back a little after the third but it all happened so fast. Now both of these people are kissers. Like when they greet almost all their friends they will kiss you on the mouth unless you turn your head. I turn my head. I am not a mouth kisser except to La. And now HC. But not even my parents. I just don't like it. I am perfectly happy to cheek kiss, in fact I find it endearing, but not on the mouth. So... has this happened to anyone else? Advice for handling?

First Easter

We had a great first Easter. La's parents came to visit for the weekend and my sister and her boys came over for dinner. We started the day with church, for which when we had no electricity so it was Resurrection Sunday- unplugged. Then we went to a local park for some pictures with the photographer that did HC's newborn shots. She is starting a new product and needed some models and we were happy to be able to sign up late and get squeezed in. We stayed awhile and took some shots ourselves. It was a beautiful day! Dinner was yummy.. followed by a neighborhood stroll and an Easter egg hunt for the boys at dusk. Makes the eggs harder to find when you are 10 and 13 yo.

After thoroughly investigating the basket the Easter bunny brought, she decided she liked it!

Five Months

Oh the joy of watching her grow and still wanting her to stay little.

HC at 5 months:

*Loves to drink water from my glass. Reaches with both hands to grab the glass and pull it to her mouth. It is so cute!

*Says the M-'mu' consonant. Mostly when she is fussing. Like Maaaaaaaaaaaaaa, maaaaaaaaaaaaa instead of whaaaaaaaaa whaaaaaaaaaa. Twice she has said it back to back. mamaaa. Sweet music to our ears. I generally say "i'll be right there' just to hear her say it one more time :)

*Still...loves to nurse, sleeps in our bed, wakes 2-3 times per night (or more), like to be worn in a sling

*Is all about my face, grabbing and squeezing and putting her fingers in my mouth

*Gets tickled and laughs over kisses and kissing sounds (see video below)

*Weighs 16.1lbs and is 25in long

*Likes to watch our shadow when we walk

*Has fun in her jumparoo and excersaucer

*Has grown out of her infant size pre-fold diapers and is on to the next size- regular I think they call it

*As any of you cloth diaper people know, they can be some long diaper changes and she is so patient. Loves her little tiger and dancing frog light on the changing table and just gabs and gabs till we are done.

*Does GREAT!!!!! in her car seat. After 4 months of non stop screaming every time we got in the car, we can finally go places and she doesn't mind it at all. Plays with her toys, sucks her thumb, falls asleep, looks around.. whatever she does.. she ain't cryin'!

Awe

When I look into her eyes and kiss her soft cheeks and smell her sweet smell, I am still in awe that she is mine and I am hers and my heart is filled to overflowing with joy and I am grateful. And I say to her 'I am your mommy!' and she looks at me like she is not surprised. But sometimes I am. The TTC road was so long and painful, it seems so unreal at times. I say to myself 'can you believe that? I am someone's mommy'. I waited my whole life to be a mommy and it feels so good. I still can't believe it sometimes. I have to remind myself this is real. I get to love her forever. And I whisper in her ear from that book. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. And she just smiles at me like 'hey, I love you too, why are you getting so teary when you say that?'. And I squeeze her the tightest and never want to let go.

Four Months

Our baby girl at 4 months:

~Has turned the corner and is doing MUCH better in her car seat. Can go for several stops and not cry and even falls asleep

~Giggles when we kiss her neck and gives us back an occasional big open mouth kiss-- LOVE IT!

~Reaches for my water glass and puts her mouth around the rim

~Still loves to nurse

~Still co-sleeping

~Likes being worn in her sling

~Wakes 2-4 times per night, nurses and falls back to sleep

~Enjoy a little time in her excersaucer

~Drools Alot

~Sucks and bites on her hands a large portion of the day

~ Is full of smiles, especially in the morning

~Like the music from a folks singer friend B.ill M.ilford

~Loves to go from lying to sitting to standing while holding our hands and smiles big big when we get to standing and say 'your such a big girl' in our squeeliest voice

~Loves to since and dance and hop around with her moms or grandmas

~Still loves a bath and especially baths with mommy

~Rubs her hands across books when we read

~Passed her brush from her left to right hand

~Loves her tiger and poo poo panda

~Eyelashes are starting to fill in

~Is SO sweet! :)

4 Months

Time really does fly when you're having fun!

Happy Birthday Mama

Happy Birthday, Mama!

I love the way you love me. The gentle kisses and big smiles. Your soft hands and funny stories. Your laugh. You waited a long time for me and me for you.

And you are the best I could have wished for.

I love you, HC

Happy Birthday, La. I love you more each day and thank God that for you. My partner, my friend, the best other mother, love of my life.

I love you. xo

Ali

One year ago today

A year ago today, I stood frozen in the bathroom doorway holding a stick with a faint line and all the hope I could muster - see Fix it and forget it- and the biggest rush of excitement at the possibility. Tonight a year later, I nursed my sweet baby to sleep after a day of smiles and chuckles, talking and reading and soaking in all of her I could. I think some parts of me are still traumatized by our long TTC journey and one loss, but when I look into her sweet eyes all the pain was worth the reward. She is the love of my life. And since it was the first time we had used her donor for an insem, I wouldn't change a thing in getting her here.

At 3 months:
~she laughs at falling toys
~loves to suck her thumb and index finger
~still loves to nurse
~still sleeps with us
~still LOVES her bath and has fallen asleep twice in the bathtub
~loves the foot book
~kicks like crazy to make her toys play music
~drools ALOT
~still not a car seat fan
~wakes up 2-3 times a night or more!
~has discovered her voice in full voice and now does this loud yelling type thing
~can sit in her b*umbo
~ has sweaty feet
~uses her hands more deliberately to grasp toys
~can roll over from belly to back
~likes a full body massage
~is getting a little more hair
~loves kisses and has started opening her mouth to give kisses
~is mommies' sweetest girl

Reflection

Wow....what a year 2009 was. Finally pregnant after 3 years of trying, witnessed our President being sworn in, and our miracle baby was born on October 11, 2009! It has been the most incredible time of our lives. It's hard to believe that HC is now 3 months old. I can still picture the days of Ali contracting, us spending countless hours in the whirlpool tub, and experiencing the most incredible birth...I cry writing this. It's a GIRL, I screamed. She is beautiful and perfect and healthy. She smiles all the time, chuckles from deep in her belly, and screatches at the top of her lungs. She reaches for objects, loves to read her foot book, and loves the bath and the sound of running water. I attribute that to the countless hours laboring in the tub. She loves the sound of water sooooo much that our dear friend let us borrow her sound machine that has pouring rain as an option. That was our miracle for our 3 hour drive when we went to Grandma's for Christmas. She still hates a car seat and semi likes a passy(for about 3 minutes) Ali's first day back to work was last Monday. It was incredibly hard for her and still is. Our schedules work so that I have her on Thursdays and Saturdays and we only needed childcare for Tues. Our good friend S keeps her on Tuesdays, that was her gift to us. We are very blessed! We are still bouncing the idea of Ali quitting work. It would mean selling our home we live in now and moving back into our town home(that is currently for sale or rent) Neither one of us like that option and are praying someone comes along to rent or buy our other home. I told Ali maybe we need to move to Utah and I get job working with J(of KJ and the kids) :)
Life is GOOD in 2010. I pray that it is for your families as well. Tho we may not post often, we follow everyone weekly and we thank you for your continued support on this new journey.

Just A Few

I love getting all the attention! My mommies are promising to post soon. :)

We are still alive

I don't even know where to begin. HC will be 8 weeks tomorrow. The time has flown by. I have almost rewritten our birth story which was so amazing. The short story is...It was a LONG labor and beautiful birth. Just what I hoped for. (not the long part) La was wonderful! I could not have done it with out her. She rubbed my back until I thought her arms would fall off. I spent almost the entire labor in the tub. We planned to deliver there, but ended up getting out the last hour before she was born. The experience made me love what I do even more. More details later.

A short list summary

At 8 wks this we know:

*HC laughs and coos all the time

*Her best time is the morning

*She is a little funky between 6-9pm

*Her favorite thing is still to nurse. In fact she just about does that non stop from 6-9pm.

*She hates her car seat

*She loves her bath

*She is a cat napper and a very light sleeper. Sleeps for the longest on our chest or in her sling. Otherwise it is lay her down, five minutes later pick her up, back to sleep, lay her down, five minutes later etc... you get the picture. Needless to say, I have not gotten anything on my list done that I was going to do on my maternity leave. Big dreams I had.

*She loves to talk with her mama

*LOVES the sound of running water. Hard heavy water

*Falls asleep to the sound of the vacuum

*Loves for us to bounce on the exercise ball and hold her

*Has the strongest eyebrow muscles and furrowed brow you ever did see (except for mine of course) as demonstrated below in her Halloween costume.

*Is the most beautiful, sweetest baby girl and the love of our lives! :-)

A peapod for Halloween

Walking in the Turkey Trot Thanksgiving morning

Trying on her Santa hat

Silly Bean

Winter jammies

Getting ready for bath time

My girl gained 2lbs at her 2week check-up

We are adjusting well as a family. Ali's mom is still here and leaves on Monday. We will fly solo next week. It's a lilltle scary. Our church family has sent meals every other day and they will keep coming thru Nov 12th or so, that has been such a wonderful ministry. Ali and I have been working on our birth story, only to open it today and it has been erased....ugggghhhhh! We will start over when we have some time.

I know you want to know her name, but she will go by H.C. for privacy reasons. We just LOVE her!