Awe

When I look into her eyes and kiss her soft cheeks and smell her sweet smell, I am still in awe that she is mine and I am hers and my heart is filled to overflowing with joy and I am grateful. And I say to her 'I am your mommy!' and she looks at me like she is not surprised. But sometimes I am. The TTC road was so long and painful, it seems so unreal at times. I say to myself 'can you believe that? I am someone's mommy'. I waited my whole life to be a mommy and it feels so good. I still can't believe it sometimes. I have to remind myself this is real. I get to love her forever. And I whisper in her ear from that book. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. And she just smiles at me like 'hey, I love you too, why are you getting so teary when you say that?'. And I squeeze her the tightest and never want to let go.