No worries......

We are back from our visit with my family. We had a wonderful time! Disney was slow and the weather was perfect.....I love when the longest wait for a ride is 20minutes, especially when you have four kids. I so admire my brother. He has 2 sets of twins 11 months apart and one is autistic. Did I mention he is a single dad, but has a lovely new girlfriend. We sit and laugh about what girl in her right mind chooses a man w/ 4 children.

My brother teaches spin class at a local YMCA in his hometown.....and he tells his story of how he would teach the class, and as they are riding along....he complains about his divorce, how is he is lonely, and that he has four kids. I can so picture him as he scopes out the females to see who will bite in his "woe is me" story. Well, Candy did. She has the sweetest spirit and calmest voice I have ever met in someone. She comes from a large family and always wanted a ball team for children, but is happy with my brother's four. I am so happy for him!

For us....sperm is here...we decided to use only one vial this time. It only takes one...right? I will have Ali post pics soon.

Ste.ven Curt.is Chap.man

Many of you who read this blog, know that ste.ven Curt.is Chap.man is my all time favorite christian artist. Please pray for his family,as tragedy struck,when their 16yo son was driving the SUV and did not see his 5yo sister when he hit her. She was the youngest of the three Chinese children him and his wife adopted. This is a devastating loss for this family. It's such a big lesson for me, that tragedy may strike at any time...so tell those you care/love just how much they mean to you.
So to all who read here and comment or just lurk....Thank you my blog-friends.

Disney

We are off to central Florida to visit my parents. My brother is coming down with my nieces and nephews. He has 2 sets of b/g twins 11 months apart, and we are going to D.I.S.N.E.Y!!!! They are 5 and 6yo now...so I think this will be a great age to have so much fun. I can't wait....

Below are pictures of the twins taken about a year ago. Joshua and Sophia go together born at 24 and 25wks gestation... 5 days apart... in seperate years. And Jake and Stella go together born at 35wks... in the same year as their older brother Joshua. They are basically quads.

Jake
Joshua
Stella
Sophia

No, again

AF came, uninvited, again. What else is there to say... another month farther away from motherhood.

11 DPO OR 12?????

Ali seems to think today is 11 DPO....she put all the information on her ovulation calender, but the day she recorded her first temp was after a long night with wine and margaritas, not to mention 4 hours of sleep before bbt, so, ovulation calender at Fertility Friend states today is 12 DPO. We are trying to figure this out. Could her temp have been high that first day of recording it b/c of alcohol overload?????? Who knows....it is all so very stressful with just the perfect timing. In good news, temp is still high and actually climbed more this A.M.

So, whether 11 DPO or 12.....let it be POSITIVE this month.....

Beware of the simplifiers...

This is one of the best commentaries I have seen on the subject of Jeremiah Wright. I am so saddened by what has been done to O.bama and Dr. Wright in these last several weeks. It is shameful. This is definetely a race issue, but not because Dr. Wright is a racist.

I love Bill M.oyers.

Seeds are out, swimmers are in!

Oh boy! or girl! Here we go again. The TWW. Hoping and praying that this is our time.

We went to a big surprise party Saturday night and I forgot my camera. Argh! A friend of ours was granted full professorship at the university here and her partner threw a great party for her. ( I still have a hard time understanding the differences in the professors and why this is such a big deal, but apparently...says the academics... it is) She was so surprised!! We drank and danced the night away until 1am and then when I woke up at 5am to take my temp, it was a little high. Oops. Oh well, it threw my chart off, but it was so worth it.

So I peaked Saturday morning on the CBFM and we did one IUI Sunday at 11am and another IUI this morning at 8am. God, you know the cry of our hearts. We patiently wait for our miracle...

Seeds

I have seeds in my ear. I went to see the acupuncturist on Saturday. She was friendly, obviously new at this, but appeared very thorough. She interviewed me for about an hour. Wanting to know all about my mood, affect, clots during my period, family, my mother's health when I was conceived and carried. She said she wished we had more time. So for those of you considering acupuncture, start early. She said she would work with what we had but would have liked to have more time to work on my liver? and kidneys? So after the interview, she reviewed my tongue and made notes about it. Then I lied down and she felt my pulses and made notes. She asked if I had a hard time turning off my brain. I said 'yes', she said "I can tell by your pulses". what? I have felt many a pulse and never ascertained that.

Then the needles. They were not so bad. Felt like a prick and that was it. She put one in each wrist, one in each foot and about 15 from my sternum to my pubic bone. Set a timer for 15 minutes and then asked if I was ok with her putting seeds in my ear. Sure. Why not. She then proceeded to poke my ear in various spots representing my uterus, liver, ovaries etc.. and where it hurt the most she stuck the seed with a bandage taped over it. The uterus one is the most sensitive. That must be good, right?

She is going out of town so cannot see me right before our IUI, but I am going tomorrow morning for another visit. First visit $80. Tomorrow $60. Hmm.. I hope this works. I enjoy fertility massage much more. It actually feels like it is doing something. This I haven't quite figured out, but I am very open to it.

The hippo did it to me

Does this look familiar to anyone?

Today, we went to see a new OB/Gyn that our MW is now with- to establish our care there. She is this little feisty woman with tight curly hair who has eight children of her own. We figured if nothing else her fertility magic might wear off on us. She reviewed my history and labs from our other OB and did't really have much in the way of recommendation. She did order a formal GYN ultrasound to check out those fibroids we found a couple months ago and went ahead and ordered an anti-phos.pholipid panel for precautionary reasons....better to know that problem before repeated miscarriages. She doesn't do AI, so she said we were way ahead of her in that knowledge and wished us luck, lots of luck. Then she asked if we had a hippo? 'Uh, no, no hippo here.' She said 'oh many a people have gotten pregnant by rubbing the hippo alone.' Then she walks to her office and brings back this large stuffed red hippo that she is barely holding between two fingers and away from her body, so as not to temp her fate for baby #9, and gives it to me to hold. I hugged it, held it, rubbed it , kissed it. She said the hippo is an ancient Egyptian fertility goddess. Who knew? I happen to enjoy a hippo, so I am going to find a couple to keep around the house. Can't hurt :-).

Anyone else have a hippo?

Come Out, Come out, Wherever You Are

I think this is the first time I have ever prayed for AF to come. I have my Drs. apt. on Thursday, and she wanted to possibly do an ultrasound. I will have to cancel if AF doesn't arrive soon. UGHHHHH. I don't want to wait any longer. I don't want to have to take another month off.....am I whiny? Yes!



Give some Big Congrats to E & S at It's taking a village and their new baby boy A.


*UPDATE*
AF came today......yeah....
We join with all of you praying for E,S and A as they wait for healing and answers for their precious baby boy.

Open Mouth Kissing.....Swing Your Hips

Ali came home last week from her first Fertility Massage (info video below, please excuse that it is F.O.X. news, bleechk) and told me, honey, we need to have more open mouth kisses and dance the fertility dance. I looked at her puzzled, not about the open mouth kisses, but a fertility dance? I thought we are so desperate....keep my mouth shut....and wait for her instructions. So I stand up, grab her hips(not so bad so far) and start shaking them as her hips swing back and forth. Ali then goes on to explain that many woman do this same type of dance when they are in labor. Oh!!!! And...we have to do this how many nights a week? I have to say it is quite hysterical. We have managed the open mouth kissing, but, the dance on the other hand......ummm...not so much. I will try and post a picture of this lovely movement!? If we can keep from laughing. Don't get me wrong....I am truly committed and believe in alternative methods.





We will be seeing the Dr. on the 24th of this month to go over our records and discuss options. Hopefully we will be trying again in May and a January baby would be nice.

What a weird dream

So I wake up this morning and I'm in the shower and I say to La. I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that I left Florida and drove to KJ's house in Utah. Showed up at the door. Took a tour around the place with K. No one else was home. Some of the house I recognized from pics on her blog. She offered to showed me the backyard- "still a work in progress", she tells me. It was like a large concrete rocky area. I mean large like the size of a sand and rock company's yard. Now I have seen pictures of their backyard, and it looks nothing like this. But anyways, dreams are crazy sometimes.... so back to the dream... K offers me some ice water in these little glasses with lemons on them. I then say ok I have to head back, like I live an hour away. Now it occurs to me in the dream that I have no recollection of how I got to Utah, and I'm not even sure if I have a car outside. We say goodbye and I find my car is waiting for me in the driveway and I get in, start down the street and realize I have no idea how to get home. And I keep saying to myself, I can't believe you would drive all this way for a three hour visit and now you don't even know how to get home. And I hate driving, for one thing I am not that good at it, for another it drives me nuts to sit that long so I usually sleep while I am being driven. Luckily I woke up before I had to spend the I don't know how many hours in the car it takes to get back to Florida from Utah. The End. I'll leave that to the interpretation of someone else, I have no clue. I gotta stop reading these blogs so much.

In other news around our house I am ovulating and we took the month off. Now I am wishing I had some sperm. I have been feeling ovulatory pain for really about 4 days, but today oh today, it is really getting my attention. La says that is probably because I have 8 follicles this month and we opted to take the month off. Very funny, dear...
We have been dog sitting my favorite dog niece Calliope Ruth "Callie". I love this dog. She loves the dust pan, which cracks us up because she is so little. Here a couple pics and a video. The video is dark, but I couldn't get the shot any better.

Right Brain, Left Brain

When you have 18minutes, this is worth seeing. A friend sent this clip of a talk given by a brain scientist that suffered a stroke. She very touchingly recounts every detail of feeling her mind slip away and what she has discovered about life since this profound experience. It especially caught my attention that she began a career in brain research because her brother is schizophrenic and she wanted to better understand his world. My brother is also schizophrenic and I have never understood his world.

Oh Sunny Day

It is the most beautiful day. I started the day off with a 14 mile bike ride with friends down to the coast. We stopped at a cafe and had lunch on the water. It was gorgeous!

In baby news, we are taking a month off. Ali is going to start fertility massage and perhaps acupuncture and see what happens. We have to keep reminding ourselves, we have only tried four times since our miscarriage. In a straight... free sperm world that is really nothing (in terms of time). So we are working on our patience :-)

We are so excited for uterusx2... and great baby names! BTW

Too bad

It was an early period. Very Weird. I'm three days into it. Still bloated, crampy and bleeding. :-(

Im.plantation blee.ding or ear.ly pe.riod?

I'm stumped. Last night I went to the bathroom to find a brownish discharge on my pantyliner and when I wiped a bit of pink mucousy substance. Today when I woke up I again had light red blood when I wiped. As the day has gone on I have dark red blood when I wipe, but my pad has only had about a quarter size of bleeding on it. Today is 10 or 11dpo (remember FF changed on me). I have scoured the Internet for info on implantation bleeding, but every thing says it should be very light. So I am thinking since mine is so dark/bright red it must be an early period? 10dpo? Anybody had this kind of implantation bleeding?

Not the ride I was thinking of...

I have been miserable for 5 days. It started Friday morning with a cough that wouldn't quit, by noon my eyes hurt and my cheeks were flushed. I got home from work at 3:30p my body ached all over, the water from the shower hurt and felt good all at the same time. My temp was 100.9 and I fell into bed.

Fast forward to today. With the exception of about 4hours Sunday morning when I thought I was on the mend, but quickly knew otherwise Sunday afternoon, I have been miserable. Low grade fevers, headache, my eyes hurt, my bones hurt from laying around, I feel like I have been kicked in the ribs SEVERAL times, I am so sore from coughing. I'm whining.

I finally went to the doctor yesterday and started an antibiotic. Just what I want to do if I am pregnant... start out on meds. Oh well. No choice. I told La, it will be a miracle if an embryo could even implant with all this coughing. We'll see.

FF changed my ovulation day by my temps. At first they called in Sat, then changed to Mon, I think it was Sunday. But whatever. My point is I'm somewhere between 8 and 10dpo. No plans to test anytime soon. I will tell you of two 'signs'. On our way into our neighborhood after the first IUI this month, La saw a rabbit hopping across the lawn. She hasn't seen a rabbit in the neighborhood since our last BFP in May. Then the other night we were watching I*ron C*hef A*merica and guess what the secret ingredient was. Yep, rabbit. Now that grossed me out and I made La change the channel...but still could it be a sign? We'll see.

TWW

We are officially in the TWW. My seat belt is fastened, I'm hanging on for the ride...

Rollercoasting

Well so much going on here, we haven't had time to post. In our news...Ali was in a car accident, and luckily no one was hurt...Thank you God! As the other woman got out of her car they started to chat a little, only to find out she had delivered her baby at the hospital Ali works and the woman remembered her. She recounted her whole birthing story....the police woman said she was laughing listening to the two of them talking...she couldn't believe the weren't arguing or fighting like many other traffic issues she gets called to.
;)


Baby news.....well Ali went in for her ultrasound to measure her follies...again only one mature one. We are fine with that, it only takes one...right. However our MW thought she saw something unfamiliar to her so she sent Ali to another MW who works for the new RE in town. She scanned Ali and said it looked as if she may have already ovulated......what???? Ali knows her body more than anyone and she will tell you she has not ovulated! The MW went on to say she should come on over to their clinic and get a full work up. That will cost how much? $1500.00 per cycle and 900.00 for meds....holly shit.... on top of the 12,000 spent in sperm, and not to mention pee sticks ,opk monitor, and endless emotional heartache. And does insurance cover any of this....we'll check. Well we all know insurance does not see infertility as a problem. Here is the dilemma...Ali ovulates fine on her own, but only produces 1 mature follicle....even amongst the fertility drugs she has been on..clomid, which we did conceive on...and now Femera. We really don't see a problem and aren't quite ready to go any other routes.... Ali is a bit of a naturalist and would prefer no assistance, but also trusts those who have been on this journey with us. I have a peace about it this time...one I haven't had since our last iui back in May 2007. I can tell you for whatever reason I knew then we were pregnant and we were. I have that same peace this time. Is it my mind playing tricks on me, knowing how bad we both want this? We received a peak this morning, which is one day earlier than normal. We will continue as scheduled. Pray for us as we listen for God to speak.

Tagged

Oh I like this tag, thanks Keri!

It goes like this
Rules:
1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

The nearest book to me that meets the pages criteria is "The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians". It was the first book we bought when we started this ttc journey.

page 123, first five sentences (this comes under the chapter So You're Finally Pregnant!) not a bad sign :-)

Get Some Air
Your house (and of course, everywhere else you go, too) may suddenly smell terrible to you. Burn scented candles at home if this helps. Avoid stinky places. Keep your house clean. Open your windows wide, letting the fresh air come streaming in.


I tag... It's Taking A Village, Just A Pair of Mom's (in training), The Proud Prowsers, Role Playing with Kids, Growing Our Little Bean

Good Morning AF *updated*

You really shouldn't have come. No I mean it. In fact I would have preferred if you hadn't. Maybe you should call first next time. I hope this is your last visit for at least a year.

Hoping at least one of the cycle buddies gets a positive. Kim and Merr I think your the only ones left.


**One of the cycle buddies this month IS PREGNANT. Yeah!!!!**

Still

Still no AF. Still no positive. I have never in the two and a half years of monitoring my periods been late. I guess I'll test again tomorrow if no AF. What does one do if AF is not here and HPT's are negative? Is it possible that you can still be pregnant? Do they do blood tests with negative HPT's?

I keep dreaming about pregnancy. Just before I woke up this morning, I was dreaming about seeing the stick with two pink lines. It was a very heavens opened up and angels sang moment. Then I woke up to one line.

Still hopeful. Still praying.

No good answers

I got nothin. No positive and no AF. I was supposed to start today. I ALWAYS start on time. I am clueless. I guess I'll test again in the morning if no AF by then. Hmmm...

14 dpo. Hmmm...

Could be an evaporation line. The test window time was technically over. La woke me up sometime in the middle of the night to tell me she sees a line on the test I took before going to bed. I have been really distant from the testing thing this month. I just pee in a cup and leave it in the bathroom and the testing fairy (La) comes and sucks it up and drops the drops and checks on it and comes out and says. I think it is too early. This has been going on since 10dpo.

So this morning she wakes me up at 7am to see if I have to pee. Well I didn't because I was sleeping but now that you have woken me up to ask I guess I could. Get up leave my sample, go back to bed. No obvious line. La sending me to the store to get another test. "A real one", not the $ store kind. Ok, whatever you think dear. Have a good day at work. Trying to sleep. Not happening, get up, get shower, make chi, check e-mail, read blogs, waiting until the retail market opens to start running errands.

Odd symptoms
I felt unusually cramping and had a lower back ache from 10dpo to 12dpo. I don't feel as crampy today on 14dpo as I normally do when my period is coming. Hmmm... does this mean anything along with my ?evaporation line? Hmmm...

Going shopping.

Angel

Today could've been your birthday. Your mom and I thought about you a lot today, wondering what you may have looked like. We cried and we smiled, as the skies opened up after this mornings rainfall. We think it was you smiling your sunshine upon us. The rose bush your Grandpa bought for you has one beautiful bud celebrating your day today. We miss the thought of you growing inside Mommy...we miss you!
Today.... we celebrate you!

We love you Javier(that's what our friends named you)
Love,
Your Mommies