BELIEVE

It's done. IUI # oh who knows... more than 19... I won't dwell on that.

We are in the TWW. La says this is it! I came home last night and she had surprised me by having the nursery painting done. We have been trying out several colors over the last several months and finally found one we like. I'll post pics when it is done. Her new project is a mural in there. It was really sweet! Thank you, baby :-)

La said, 'Hey. did you notice they didn't give us an instruction card for if it doesn't work this time', I said 'yes'. To which she replied 'see I told you, that's because this is it'! I am amazed at her brave courage to leap un-abandoned, arms spread, wind in her face, not afraid to fall- belief. I'm in it tandem... trying to keep my eyes open. I believe.

When we got home our friend had sent this e-mail this morning at 5:36am

Be careful today (driving) !!!! May the spirit of fast moving sperm come upon you and attack your egg today !!!
Love you, T

Very sweet. We love you too!

TWW

We are officially in the TWW. My seat belt is fastened, I'm hanging on for the ride...

Timing is everything

OMG. There is something wrong with our OPK sticks this month, I swear. They are cloudy looking. Not reliable. Inaccurate. So here is the story. Last month the opk didn't detect the LH in time ie I ovulated the night before I got my peak. So we were behind the eight ball. Ok we know the rest of the story...BFN.

Now this month I was ready. Ready to pay attention to my body, took extra OPK's from another brand. We did an insem on CD13 night (which is when I ovulated that month) even though my sticks didn't say to do so. Then the next day (CD 14 the day I usually ovulate) we put #2 on hold waiting for an LH surge. None in the morning. Talked to the MW, decided we would do it in the evening. Then became obsessed with how long frozen washed sperm lives inside the body before dying. Internet says everything from 12hours to 3days. BIG DIFFERENCE. Come on people...

Ok so called the MW back we decided it was at least 24hrs. Then started talking about follicles etc. Remember I took Clo*mid this month. We decided to call another MW who is now working as an ARNP for a new RE in town. She said "what are you doing right now" I said "nothing" she said why don't come over and let me look at you. So jumped in the car, drove over there. She did an ultrasound and found I only had one mature follicle. A lot of good that cl*omid did.

Anyways. She suggested I get a stat estrogen level done and then could do an HCG shot if I wanted. Decided I didn't want the hcg as I thought I would ovulate today anyways, but was curious about the estrogen level. Well 2hrs later, 2 labs later, I am driving home practicing my meditation belly breathing because both labs refused to run the test stat. They say that it is not one of the one's they do stat. It didn't matter that I had a doctor's order and they have a contract with the hospital lab here to run them STAT since the new RE came to town. It was all I could do not to jump over that counter through the little square hole at that woman. But instead, I consciously expanded my belly and my back over and over... and then I felt better. :-)

Fast forward to last night we decided to do #2 insem at 10pm and today I have felt ovulatory all day today (CD #15). So the big question is... how long does sperm live (frozen, washed) and if it is at least 24hrs then we are ok if it is less than 24hrs.... not so good.

Wow that was a mouthful.

#10 One down... one to go

I'm not sure how I feel. I mean I feel a little crampy, ok, that is fine. But I mean how I feel now that I might be pregnant again. Tonight's IUI went well. We didn't get to see the swimmers under the microscope (La's favorite part) because we were at the MW house. But all other parts went smoothly even that nasty little tenaculum, argh, wasn't too bad. The really good news is the IUI catheter went in really easily. The last IUI that resulted in pregnancy the catheter went in farther than it ever had before with a 'pop' noise even. We think that was part of our success, so it going in so well tonight is a good sign. I thought about K&M's bag of specials today, but had to work this morning so didn't get a chance to round anything up. Don't know what I would put in it. (I think y'all should just sell duplicates of yours :-) )

I started feeling very ovulatory last night so I fretted some today about the timing... are we waiting too late, oh no! But then I opened up an e-mail devotional I get from C*athedral of H*ope in Dallas, anyone know it- the largest gay church in the world. Anyways today's lesson was about timing, God's timing and faith that God's timing is right. Now I was not too pleased with this concept when we 'lost' (still hate that word) our first baby, but I am trusting that since I cannot see the whole picture that God's timing is perfect. So I felt that was just for me today and I was able to relax more.

So this was IUI #10, first try after miscarriage, no clomid this time, temping- check, CB fertililty monitor-check, R*obitussin nightly-check, evening p*rimrose oil daily-check (just until ovulation), PNV-check, two vials...one down(up)...one to go

Tomorrow morning 8am we will be at it again and then ah the TWW...

Oh and...Holla! Our first night alone in three weeks, yeah! My mom is coming back tomorrow :-)