So you can probably guess...we are again, babyless. I wonder when this road becomes easy? At what point do you just say I can't do this anymore? At what point do you allow the desperation to subject yourself to any medical procedure to get pregnant?I feel as if we have semi been there....clo.mid....fe.mar.a...hcg ....hystosalpingogram.....ultrasounds....bloodwork...accu-massage.......accpuncture...all for someone to tell you everything is fine. Well, where the hell is our baby? Sorry, frustration. I feel like we enter each cycle with such anticipation and despair. We find ourselves desperately reaching for anything. You find that each notion of a potential sympton of pregnancy....a twinge...tender breasts...fatigue...I would run out and buy upteen packages of do.ll.ar tr.ee brand tests waiting for that pink line. We have been let down and I have come to detest that pink line.
Our life has become focused on this infertilty. The grief,anger,and bargaining. When do you reach a tunnel of aaceptance? Nothing is broken, just imbalanced. So we go on...right..that's what you do. It's a painful journey.
For my beautiful wife who stands tall and graceful....I am AMAZED!
I Love You
12 comments:
I'm sorry. Each time hurts as much as the first, if not more. It's so great that you have each other.
It doesn't ever get better. Not after 6 years of trying and SEVERAL invasive procedures and seeing a herbalist and going to a damn voodoo lady to get rid of spirits and traveling far and wide to a plethora of different doctors did it get better, easier. Each month you think it's going to work. it's GOTTA work this time.
I knew in my heart and body that I was meant to be a mother. That I wanted to carry a baby. This is what drove me. That maternal instinct. I never gave up and look at me know...DRIPPING with kids.
(I suppose the lesson here is, be careful what you wish for :)
Good luck to you two. Stay strong and focused and remember sometimes science is there for a reason. Ask for help if you need to. Sometimes there are other means and other ways to becoming mothers.
Sometimes you get where you are going one step at a time. Sometimes you have to just leap.
However you get there....the rewards are worth it. ;)
I'm sorry to hear the bad news, but even as an OBGYN we had tried everything...IVF, tons of IUI's and loads of money and nothing happened. We had given up and done nothing for months. Then on a whim we gave it one more try, without anyone but us and a IUI catheter. We went out afterwards and had the time of our life, had a few drinks and romance and nine months later our one good egg hatched.
It will happen....just relax, your good egg will come.
I'm sorry girls. I'm finding it hard to get back in the swing of things myself. We've enjoyed our short break and I just can't hardly stand the thoughts of another negative followed by another and so on.
It's so hard.
I'm sorry, I wish I had magic words to send over these distant wires to make people pregnant, but I don't have that power. Just know that we are out here listening to what you say and that we feel each bump and each bruise. And we will still be here to feel the thrill when it comes.
I'm so sorry. KJ's right - it doesn't get any easier. You just help each other through somehow.
TTC is such an emotional roller coaster. The best part is as a couple you are strong and getting through this together. This process seems to strengthen a strong couples relationship so much. Allow yourself to feel disappointed and grieve and then pick yourself up and try again.
I also agree with KJ. There are other options out there to explore.Good luck!
It really doesn't get any easier. It is very hard and frustrating. Just continue to lean on each other and explore all your options with your doctor and keep reaching for your dream.
I soooo know how you feel. Even though we do have a kid, the pain and longing for another is killing me. I too wonder how long I can do this and if I should just give up. It just plain sucks all around. I am so sorry! Don't give up yet!!!
Hang in there, it took us 7 YEARS of various fertility treatments. I gave up briefly 2 times...then decided children are so worth it.
I don't have an answer but I do know the heartbreak is awful. When does it get easier? Never...even if you already have a child and want another. When do you stop? When you have a baby, and you will b/c you guys are obviously meant to be moms!!!
I'm sorry. I hope you get your baby soon. I hope we all do. I'm sure no one deserves babies more than us! :)
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